BROWNSVILLE-HALSEY AREA
MARRIAGE PREPARATION POLICY
Signed May 14, 1998
I. Concern: Marriage is Holy
Our concern as ministers of the Gospel is to foster lasting marital unions under God and to establish successful spiritual families. Almost ninety percent of all marriages are performed by pastors, and we are troubled by the nearly fifty percent divorce rate. Our hope is to radically reduce the divorce rate among those married in area churches.
II. Scripture: "What God hath joined together, let no man separate." (Matt.19:5)
We acknowledge that marriage involves a legal, public, and permanent commitment between one man and one woman who agree to live together in mutual love and support for the rest of their lives.
God has established and sanctified marriage for the welfare and happiness of the human family. For this reason, our Savior has declared that a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one. By His apostles he has instructed those who enter into this relationship to cherish a mutual esteem and love; to share in each other's infirmities and weaknesses; to comfort each other in sickness, trouble and sorrow; to provide for each other and for their household; to pray for and encourage each other; to live together as heirs of the grace of life; and to raise children, if there are any, in the knowledge and love of the Lord. In Malachi 2:13-16 it says that God hates divorce, and in Ephesians 5, the image of marriage is that of Christ and His church.
III. Implementation: These are the minimum expectations:
- Waiting period: A minimum of four months from the initial appointment until the wedding date unless special circumstances prevent it.
- Premarital Counseling: A normal minimum of four sessions that would include a relational instrument, inventory, or test (Meyers/Briggs, Taylor Johnson Temperament Analysis, or other) to help the couple evaluate the maturity of their relationship objectively. Topics covered in these sessions would also include spirituality, communication, conflict resolution, sex, finances, parenting, recreation, in-laws, roles and responsibilities, etc.
- Scripture: Teach biblical doctrines on morality, marriage and divorce. Encourage couples to memorize key verses on marriage.
- Church involvement: Strongly encourage the couple to participate in a Bible-believing church during the process of preparation for marriage, and after the wedding for spiritual nurturing.
- Engagement Seminar: Encourage the couple to participate in a concentrated period of joint introspection through engagement encounter or a similar class if available.
- Follow up: Commit ourselves to follow up on the newly married couple by providing, as needed, a mature married couple to meet with them and assist them in the concept of marital bonding, encouraging them to attend marriage retreats or enrichment classes, and counseling them as needed.
IV. Pastor's agreement:
- I will work to build successful spiritual families.
- I will work to follow Scripture and to implement these minimum preparations for the couples that I marry, to substantially reduce the divorce rate in our area.
- I will join with other spiritual leaders to encourage couples to seriously participate in premarital preparation.
