Salem-Keizer Community Marriage Policy
Signed June 18, 1999
Affirmation: Marriage is Holy
As pastors and ministers in our community, we affirm that God has established marriage as a holy institution. God desires that marriage be honored and esteemed among all people as a life-long commitment. As spiritual counselors for our congregations, we witness both the joys of marriage and the pain of divorce. We are grieved that, over the last decade, there has been 1 divorce for every 1.6 marriages in Oregon. Because 75% of all marriage ceremonies are performed by ministers, we want to ensure that as many marriages are possible are loving, healthy and long-lasting. Research affirms that couples who earnestly engage in premarital counseling will have a better understanding of the marriage relationship and, in turn, have better marriages. By entering into this covenant, we as a community of clergy desire to increase the percentage of healthy marriages and significantly reduce the divorce rate in Salem-Keizer.
Implementation: Defining Minimum Expectations
- To both establish and nurture healthy marriages, we pledge to adequately prepare and support couples whom we marry. We will invest our best skills and resources to help couples discern their readiness for this sacred relationship, and provide them with encouragement to maintain a healthy marriage for life. As ministers, we agree that the following elements should be included in marital preparation:
- Couples agree to wait at least four (4) months from the initial marital appointment until the wedding date.
- Couples agree to participate in at least four (4) premarital
counseling sessions or in a marriage preparation course. (This does not
include any meeting(s) to plan the ceremony.) As part of the counseling
process, we strongly encourage the following:
- Completion of a relational inventory (such as PREPARE, Meyers Briggs, TJTA, DISC, or similar). This will help couples objectively gauge their readiness for marriage.
- That the couple be sexually abstinent until marriage.
- Teaching of biblical principles on marriage, morality, and divorce. Topics should include expectations, commitment, communication, prayer, finances, sexuality, conflict resolution and other key issues that affect the marriage relationship.
