West Umatilla County (Hermiston) - COMMUNITY MARRIAGE POLICY

I. CONCERN: "Marriage is Holy'

A major concern we have as ministers of the Gospel is to foster lasting marital unions under God and to establish successful spiritual families. Almost 90% of all marriages are performed by pastors, and we are troubled by the nearly 50°/a divorce rate. Our hope is to radically reduce the divorce rate among those married in area churches.

It is the responsibility of pastors to set minimal requirements to raise the quality of commitment in those we marry. We believe that couples who seriously participate in premarital testing and counseling will have a better understanding of what the marriage commitment involves. As agents of God, acting on His behalf, we feel it is our responsibility to encourage couples to set aside time for marriage preparation, instead of concentrating only on wedding plans. We acknowledge that a wedding is but a day; a marriage is for a lifetime.

II. SCRIPTURE: "What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder" (Matthew 19:6)

God has established and sanctified marriage for the welfare and happiness of the human family. For this reason our Savor has declared that man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one. By His apostles He has instructed those who enter into this relationship to cherish a mutual esteem and love; to share in each other's infirmities and weaknesses; to comfort each other in sickness, trouble, and sorrow; to provide for each other and for their household; to pray for and encourage each other; to live together as heirs of the grace of life; and to raise children, if there are any, in the knowledge and love of the Lord-

In Malachi 2:13-16 it says that God hates divorce, and in Ephesians 5 the image of marriage is that of Christ and His church.

III. IMPLEMENTATION: These are the minimum expectations we will hold to:

• Waiting period: A minimum of three months from the initial marital appointment until the wedding date.
• Pre-Marital Counseling: Minimum of four sessions that would include a relational instrument, inventory or test (e.g., Meyers / Briggs or T-JTA) to help the couple evaluate the maturity of their relationship objectively.
• Scripture: Teach Biblical doctrines on morality, marriage and divorce. Encourage them to memorize key verses on marriage.
• Engagement Seminar: Participate in a seminar (like "Homes of Honor to encourage the couple to participate in a concentrated period of joint introspection,
• Helping Couples: Provide as needed a mature married couple to meet with them to assist in the concept of marital "bonding'.
• Post-Marital: Commit ourselves to counseling the couple as needed.

IV. COVENANT:

• I covenant to build successful spiritual families.
• I covenant to follow Scripture and to implement these minimum preparations for the couples that I marry to substantially reduce the divorce rate in our area,
• I covenant to join with other spiritual leaders to encourage couples to seriously participate in pre-marital preparation.

Adapted from Dr. Jim A. Talley, Licensed Marital & Family Therapist, 11805 Sylvester Dr., Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73162-1018. (405) 7208300 Fax (405) 721-1666, License #505